Simon HUGHES
Of 3 Wheels of Solace
On the Mototaxi Junket 2009 22:10 UTC 1st June 2009

HIGHLIGHT ON MAP

Route Planning

SUNDAY 31st MAY 2009

Nearly 2 months after signing up we've finally managed to get all 6 members of our convoy together in one place - drawn together by a common desire for consuming beer and half-cooked meat in sunny Berm-on-Sea.

The attraction was so great for Scot that he announced his arrival by crashing his car into the front of my house! Keen to exploit these visual-spacial skills we have now put Scot in charge of working out the distance we need to travel each day.

James was the next to arrive - and as he knows a girl who speaks spanish he's in charge of communications. He reassures us (or maybe I've just made this bit up?) that she'll be forgiving of the time difference when James phones her every mealtime up to check we're ordering Guinea Pig and not something vegetarian.Â

Nick arrived and was surprised to find out we will be traveling from Lima to Ascuncion - mainly because Simon L couldn't be bothered to read the Adventurists Website and so had told Nick the route was between the first 2 South American cities he could think of (which happened not to be 4000km apart, separated by the Andes, Salt Flats, and Swamps)

Nav was the last to arrive - hindered by navigational and travel planning problems...ironic really considering his name, but at least it identified the perfect role for him.

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We now have a plan that gets us as far as La Paz (Bolivia), after which it becomes a bit sketchy. But as it's unlikely we'll all survive that far it seems a bit pointless wasting everyone's time planning the next bit.Â

The next thing on our agenda is to start shortlisting applicants for our vacant PAA posts (Professions Allied to Adventurism). If anyone knows the whereabouts of a decent butler, chai-wallah, wandering minstrel, rose petal bearers, and of course hand-maidens then please let us know.Â

Simon HUGHES

Load Simon

Navin Chohan

Load Navin

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium">Introduction by The Very Reverend Clapham North (Mrs – retired)</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium">Vice-Commodore of the Salt-Flats Yacht Club, Bolivia, SA</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span>Towards the end of October 2009 the average IQ for Europe is predicted to rise sharply as over 100 idiots depart for Peru and the first ever Trans-Andes Moto-Taxi Junket.<span>  </span>Over 60 teams have entered, including a few from North America - although their departure for South America is likely to result in a lower mean IQ for both continents.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span>Their mission, should they choose to accept it (and they have – see “idiot” reference above), is to drive 4000km from Lima (Peru) to Asuncion (Paraguay) in just 13 days. This has to be achieved using only minor roads (no highways) as otherwise the police will arrange long term local accommodation and possibly even a starring role in the next series of “Banged-Up Abroad”. En route they will have to cross mountains, salt flats, swamps, and the largest lake in South America (sitting at 3827m above sea level).</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span>The noble steed chosen to carry our adventurers will be the Moto-Taxi. The unexpected offspring of a drunken union between a sofa and a lawnmower this vehicle is the pinnacle of crap engineering. A throbbing single cylinder 125cc engine powers the 3-wheeled all-terrain racing machine to speeds that occasionally exceed walking pace. Its stopping power is equally impressive, due to drum brakes made from the finest leftover bits of guinea pig.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span>It is both a pleasure and a privilege to be associated with the pioneering members of the 3 “Bond Teams” who will be participating in this event:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span>Simon Hughes and Navin Chohan (3 Wheels of Solace)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><a href="http://www.mototaxijunket09.theadventurists.com/index.php?mode=teamwebsites&name=rickshawroyale" target="_blank">Scot Henney and James Watts (Rickshaw Royale)</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><a href="http://www.mototaxijunket09.theadventurists.com/index.php?mode=teamwebsites&name=fromrickshawwithlove" target="_blank">Simon Lamb and Nick Gibbons (From Rickshaw With Love)</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span>Never before have I encountered such an inspiringly ill-prepared band of men, whose total lack of mechanical knowledge is only rivalled by their complete inability to utter anything in Spanish other than to ask the way to Pedro’s house (and even then they are unable to comprehend the reply).<span>  </span>In fact the only thing in their favour is their considerable combined weight – which some may see as an additional challenge when attempting to scale the Andes and traverse swamps in a 3-wheeler with the torque of a Moulinex blender.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold">Finally, and most importantly, I should mention that this trip will be entirely self-funded</span>....using the magic free money banks give away in the form of over-drafts and credit cards. If a beer-token-shortage should arise then the plan is to cash-in on a generous "organ donation" from the first non-medic team member to fall asleep.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold"> However</span>, in addition to benefiting their friends and families by not being around for 2 weeks,<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold"> our six adventurists also want to raise £3000 for Operation Smile - a charity that funds free reconstructive surgery for children with facial deformities in Peru, Bolivia and Paraguay. All money donated via their JustGiving web page goes directly to this charity.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>I wish them the best of luck in their endeavour, but would advise their employers not to delay the process of advertising for replacements.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium">C. North 11</span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium">th</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium"> July 2009</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>