Having completed two previous adventures, one could be forgiven for thinking that Chris would be a useful member of the team. Sadly this is far from the case. Still posessing no mechanical skills at all and a newly acquired fear of heights after a few close calls on the mountains of Peru he is more likely to prove a liability.
His experience of creative use of Duct Tape may be useful but this could well prove one adventure too many for this fragile veteran and a complete mental breakdown cannot be ruled out.

Anyone who has ever met Peter will tell you the same thing.
He smells of Liquorice.
It is not a strong scent, but you become instantly aware of his presence in a room by this feint underlying odour. Nobody has ever been able to work out the reason for this oddity, despite experimentation with all manner of cleansing products, numerous tests by various doctors and vigorous makeover sessions involving intense scrubbing, exfoliation and internal irrigation.
Peter has always strived to put this affliction behind him however and always seemed determined to try to lead a normal life. Sadly, this hasn’t proved possible and the increasing desperation to rid himself of this strange body odour led to his ultimate mental collapse. Now in the care of a state-run community rehabilitation centre Peter seems remarkably content with the imaginary world they have created for him and seldom worries about anything other than the ever-spiralling bread prices in his local Tescos.
In addition to the value this economic obsession could prove in financing and accounting this venture, Peter could be invaluable to the team’s success should we encounter an angry herd of Elephants. As most people are aware, elephants can’t resist liquorice so if necessary he can be left behind to placate them while the rest of the team affect a successful escape.

Having been raised by baboons in the jungles of Borneo, Matthew is doing remarkably well to adjust to modern living. He has already almost mastered walking upright and basic human speech so should be well suited to driving a rickshaw on treacherous mountain roads.
Although often compared to the common housefly as he struggles to settle in one place for long (and seems permanently attracted towards the bright lights) he actually bears closer physical resemblance to a peregrine falcon, admittedly with a slightly shorter bill and more pronounced jowls.
An occasional transvestite with a rare form of tourettes which causes him to periodically shout the names of motorway service stations at full volume, Matthew’s natural flamboyance makes him a hard man to miss and he is sure to prove a hit with the locals.
All in all an essential member of the team, who we hope to have sold by the time we leave Kathmandu.