Mike was born in the village of Podzemnaya Lachuga to a family of semi-prosperous beet impersonators. He enjoyed a typical halcyon childhood of toiling in the potash mines until the untimely demise of his family at the spines of a vicious gang of marauding hedgehogs. Haunted by their demonic squealing, he set out to make his fortune as an itinerant yak whisperer, sustained on a diet of soaked potatoes and fermented grief. Falling afoul of the Red Army, he was informed by an NKVD troika that he had won an all-expenses-paid lifetime vacation to sunny Magadan. Through a stunning display of turpitude, he made his escape, commandeered a narwhal fishing vessel and set sail for Mexico. Following a falling out with Trotsky, he entered the precarious world of lucha libre as El Yak de la Muerte, only to have his burgeoning career tragically cut short when he was unmasked by his nefarious nemesis, El Calamar Chuchurrido. Dejected, he slunk away in shame to his homeland, where he was waylaid by brigands and entombed in a vat of fermented mare's milk. There he slumbered until he was resuscitated by fallout from Chernobyl and set out again to fulfill the Mad Baron Ungern-Sternberg's dreams of reconstituting the Glorious Russo-Mongolian Empire.

A yak aficionado hailing from California, El Compadre fell in love with the town belle in a small Central American pueblo during one of his frequent excursions to establish a local yak farming industry. Things were not all well in the pueblo however and Compadre quickly joined with her ragtag band of rural peasant guerrillas in their struggles to overthrow the vicious landlord, El Caudillo. Ruling with an iron fist, El Caudillo slaughtered Compadre’s entire yak heard while he hid in the bushes, and vowed revenge. Ever since on El Caudillo’s trail, the search continues. As everyone knows, Central American strongmen have a penchant for hiding in Kazakhstan and Southern Russia, and so Compadre’s adventure continues. Hasta La Victoria Siempre con El Yak De La Muerte!