Mongol Rally Summary by Numbers
Nursing a hangover here are the important facts.
1 ambulance named Barbara
4 idiots who occasionally dress as penguins
9448 miles driven
32 days on the road
17 countries
7 timezones crossed
54th place
$420 paid in bribes or fuel cards
14 police stops
11 hours was the longest time at a border (Mongolia)
32 times we were ripped off
5 football shirts used as border "souvenirs"
8 river crossings in Mongola
5 hours stuck in a Mongolian river
5 vehicles failed to get us out of the river
1 time we nearly had to quit
19 breakdowns
3 starter motors
0 punctures
3 working brakes
1 exhaust strapped to the roof
0 shockers on back wheels
1 working roll bar
84mph top speed
1 vehicle crash
1 Rod Stewart tape
50+ kebabs consumed
15 Mongolian pot noodles ate
Counless things we ate without knowing what it was
500+ bottles of water drank
Even more beers and vodka
4 constant stomach aches
15 packs of Immodium required
40 rolls of toilet paper
4 days sleeping in a car park
$0 dollars going into Turkmenistan
1 Ramadan survived
1 threat of deportation back to Iran
0 Fatwas issued against us (we know of)
40+ Mosques visited (knowingly or unknowingly)
1 kid named David Beckham
100's of happy faces enroute (exc Romania)
30+ people said we couldn't do it (I was one)
Day 32 - Genghis didn't get to London, but we conquered the Mongol Rally (23/8)
Khan Khogsin Uul to Ulaan Baatar (231981- )
Khan Khogsin Uul, Arvaikheer, Ulaan Baatar
Let's do this - we can be at the finish line by 6 and have a warm shower in a 5* hotel shortly after!
Thankfully the tracks did improve so the fear of hitting the oil sump subsided. To ensure we were heading the right way towards the tarmac we basically stopped every vehicle we say who would etch out the km's left on the dirt track...each time we were getting more excited.
The first relief came when we found the tarmac. Halileujah! So much so other vehicles drove past watched us hug the tarmac, or pray on it, or dance around dressed as penguins! The relief was tainted as the tarmac proved to be terrible to the extent where we nearly went back in the side of the road!
The second relief came when we passed Arvaikheer the last vehicle drop off point. I said to Phil "Whatever happens we will have to be towed to the finish line!". A mere 300 miles to the finish line!
After a long stint on better tarmac with rainstorms and thunder & lightning we arrived at the city sign for Ulaan Baatar. Now let's get the flags up!. Nothing is straightforward in Mongolia. This time the combination of peak time traffic, lunatic drivers and a massive detour left us lost and driving over debris (again)...we were also pretty close to taking down UB electricity supply with the flags so they had to be lowered slightly for the sake of UB power and our welfare.
Despite getting pretty lost down several back streets we happened to find the backside of the finish line - not the way we planned. However we were greeted and cheered by several teams already in the bar. We have made it despite all the trials and tribulations...in particular the river incident! After opening up a cheap bottle of Mongolian plonk and celebrating by the finish sign we headed for well deserved beers! Tonight could be messy...!
Who said it couldn't be down?
Four Play with Genghis Complete Mongol Rally 2011.
Day 31 - Please God give us me tarmac (22/8)
Gobi to Khan Khogsin Uul (231761-231981)
Gobi Desert, Bayankhonger, Marzad, Khan Khogsin Uul
Needless to say another early start as we head to Bayankhonger and beyond whilst ticking off the Mongol Rally check points for those vehicles who cannot continue. We continued the same routine driving along the "paths" checking the compass then panicking. We then ask locals who look at you blank, then give you the (un)helpful arm waving general direction thing. The lesson learned maybe to stick to the main path as per our rubbish map.
We bumped into a French guy on a motorbike heading from Bayankhonger who said the road is pretty good and it took him 2 hours, however he was doing 60-90kph compared to our 22kph. No time to dwell let's get on with it. On a positive note the 3 breaks are holding out!
After a long 5 hour slog we arrived in Bayankhonger with just enough time to stock up on food, water and alcohol for the final push. In fairness to Mongolia has a beautiful countryside/desert with camels, horses, goats and Nomadic people. However after a few days seeing the same stuff at 20kph with the embarrassment of Billy goats overtaking you and the constant fear you are going to breakdown...you just want to get through it or at least hit the promised tarmac!
We were hoping to hit a Ger tonight not actually hit one, but at least stay with a family for the night, however due to bad "roads" and it being very dark we settled for camping. Tonight was almost an celebration as we drunk all the beers, ate the majority of the food, dressed up like idiots, released Chinese lanterns and set off fireworks. I just hope the last 40 miles before the tarmac and 300 miles after don't beat us tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
Day 30 - I have no breaks, repeat no breaks! (21/8)
Darvi to Somewhere in the Gobi (231494- 231761)
Darvi, Altai, Gobi Desert
Early start but not sure of the actual time because Mongolia has an unclear timezone between Ulaan Baatar and West Mongolia. Phil started us off today and from the back it appeared he was driving like a mad man, but it appeared to suit the conditions and we covered good ground...not sure if Barbara approved or did Gayle when she was flung out of her chair whilst sleeping.
We arrived at Altai before 1pm just in time for a door panel to fall off, maybe the rattling is beginning to take its toll or is it Phil's driving ;) . The question now was how far can we go today, so Phil quickly handed over a "fully functioning" Barbara to me. Within 20km as I'm whizzing at 40mph down a sand track toward a large gap in the road I decided to try the breaks. I shouted "I have no breaks, repeat have no breaks hold on!". After working through the gears and smashing into rocks we finally came to a stop. Phil and Colin set to work hammering things to turn off the back leg break and stop the brake fluid leaking - as we had none left. Whilst they were down there they ripped some other bits off which were hanging down so Babara would be more aerodynamic.
Back on the road and 5 minutes later "Shit no breaks", so the hammering continued. This happened another 4 times until the brake fluid was no more. We then free wheeled it to a small town where we were greeted by a clapped out Ambulance from last years Mongol Rally. Luckily the town had break fluid as well as a load of happy Mongolian kids who wanted to climb over Barbara. Needless to say the brake issue held us back so another night with pot noodles and vodka in the Gobi.
Day 29 - Stuck in the middle with you! (20/8)
Khovd to Darvi (231363 - 231494)
Khovd, Bottom of River, Zereg, Darvi
Realising the error of our way yesterday we set off at 6am to ensure the best chance of making the 450km to Altai. We made pretty good progress or at least I was told as I was sleeping. The road consisted off a 30km wide plain with mountain ranges and stones. When you ask a local for directions they merely throw their hand in the direction the crow flies...not so helpful!
After 30 minutes of being neither lost or knowing where we were, we spotted a nearby Ger to ask for some useless directions. However the Ger was on the other side of what looked like was an innocent river. After a bit of acceleration we found ourselves stuck good and proper. We were that deep you could get your hands under the body of Barbara due to sand...if we survive we could have done some damage!
Gayle went for help...and this is how the story goes.
1) The first truck had a flat tyre. Good start.
2) The next Ger had a 4x4 so off we went. The initially helpful Mongolian jumped into his 4x4 and tried to pull us out both forward and backward...no joy!
3) The Mongolian then phoned his mate in a nearby Ger to bring his bigger blue truck. He would only try backwards as he didn't fancy crossing the river...no joy!
4) The still helpful Mongolian then took Colin on a trip in his 4x4 to find what he described as a "super machine". This trip involved Colin having a 3 course meal, nearly buying a bride and wrestling a half naked Mongolian. In contrast the rest of us were sitting in the river contemplating failure. Colin returned and 30 minutes later the "super machine" turned up, basically a clapped out truck. He tried forwards first with no joy, so decided to cross the river. He got stuck! Brilliant. After a bit of digging and pushing he got out and tried backwards. Still no joy but he snapped our tow rope.
5) The still helpful Mongolian then told one of us to jump in the 4x4. Colin was still full from the earlier lunch, so I went ahead. We stopped at an even bigger river where there was a maniac bus driver ferrying vehicles across the 4 foot river. I was told to get out to ask him to help, as I did the 4x4 driver legged it. The bus driver decided to help for a small fee, so I jumped aboard with all the locals. However I noticed a Spanish Rally team on the horizon who were gesturing they didn't have a tow rope, so I fooled them into following us as they spoke little English and I needed a back-up plan. The bus driver and it's occupants tried wilfully to move Barbara but still no joy and the tow rope was getting smaller!
6) Only option left before flying the white flag was to convince a dumper truck we saw earlier to help. I jumped In the Spanish car and set-off armed with my best pigeon Mongolian. After explaining an pointing to pictures to the site foreman for over 10 minutes he gestured to me he was deaf. The next option was to convince the drivers themselves. After much explaining, contemplating, negotiating a tow chain (no joy)and bargaining we managed to convince one little guy to take on the challenge for $60. The cavalry followed the Spanish Seat to the river. First attempt ended in failure when the rope snapped, however second attempt slowly pulled Barbara out much to the delight of the small crowd and the four of us yelping like school kids. After 5 hours Barbara was free with only minor scrapes...we think.
The next problem faced was that 4 foot river so we convinced the dumper truck driver to help us out. Luckily only the Spanish needed his help and we powered through to the other side - simples. We then split from the Spaniards, but without them our Mongol Rally would have been over!
No too get as far towards Altai without any issues. Unfortunately the "roads" and detours only got worse and we were all suffering including Barbara. Whilst taking then only track available which even 4x4's snubbed, Gayle said "I think something is stuck!", that something fell off and it proved to be our exhaust. Phil and Colin went about fixing it, this involved strapping the exhaust to the roof and hammering the underneath of Barbara and ripping off more bits...as you do!
The rest of the day involved walking in front, clearing rocks from the path and going very slowly. However we believed we were still making good progress until we asked a Young Mongolian kid who kept hitting us with a stick whilst riding his horse. We were 80km behind where we thought (3 hours driving) and a mere 250km from Altai.
We decided to pull over, set up camp and tuck into some Mongolian pot noodles and vodka. Think it might be an early start tomorrow!
Day 28 - Shock Horror (19/8)
Oligy to Khovd (231223 - 231363)
Oligy, Tolbo, Bayan-Enger, Khovd
Nice gentle day planned today only a mere 200km to Khovd (Second milestone)...or maybe not. When we though the "roads" couldnt get worse, they could. It is like driving across corrigated iron when everything shakes, including your teeth and bones. The issue with Barbara is you feel every bump ten fold and the whole vehicle shakes, so it sounds a lot worse.
During a mid-morning tea break we swapped speed stories with a Nissan Micra. We were averaging a respectible 15mph, whereas they were going at 40mph as the speed helped negact the bumps in a car. Is this going to take us 3 times longer than a car?
Back on the road and we were joined by a foul burning smell. The smell turned out to be a burnt out back left shocker...oops! No need to dwell it can't be fixed. The rest of the afternoon saw Barbara transform into a sand buggy and a river cruiser. We crossed (not sure if we had to) 3 flowing rivers which caused laughter but some unfounded concern.
We arrived in Khovd at 8pm, only 6 hours longer than planned! We headed to a Ger with other Rally teams and settled down to some well earned local delicacies and beer. After a game of "I have never" and far too much booze we settled down for a night in a Ger.
Day 27 - Shake, rattle and (nearly) roll (18/8)
Tashanta (Russia) to Oligy (Mongolia) (231144 - 231223)
Woken up early this morning as every team tried to quietly get up and beat each other to the border, as this border has history of taking a while! We arrived in the border queue at 7am and waited patiently like us Brits do until the first office opened at 9. However this didnt stop several Russians trying to squeeze their trucks into small gaps whilst shouting and gesturing in a pissed off manner. Luckily the organised Russian Border Official made a list of the vehicles in order and banished the vodka guzzling idiots to the back of the growing queue. We later found out only 12 vehicles can leave Russia and enter Mongolia every half day...so the Russians had a long wait ahead.
At 11am we were allowed to drive Babs into the Russian border control. After a pointless walk around several buildings with no-one checking our passports, we were the subjected to a vehicle search whilst a Russian TV crew filmed us for the news. I must admit I did think we could be part of a set-up and they would find some contraband (eg Russian brides, drugs etc). However no need to worry they didnt find anything including the fireworks and we were free to enter 25km of No Mans Land.
We arrived at the Mongolian border and were greated by a queue of 12 vehicles and a closed gate. It was dinner time. It took over 2 hours until they let us in due to other Rally vehicles. Once again we went through the formalities of wandering around aimlessly, then we were told to sit in the car park. The reason behind this is because The Adventurists need to transfer a deposit to the Mongolian Government in case we ditch the vehicle. Only when the money is transferred against the registration plate you are allowed in. Given Mongolian technology this can take days if not weeks. After 4 hours still no progress, however we did get excited every time the Customs Lady left the building with papework and her Pink Nikon camera for the important photos. Finally after 11 hours at the borders we entered Mongolia only quickly to be ripped off by a lady selling insurance for $17 and had a kid called David Beckham (seriously).
We quickly realised how bad the Mongolian roads were both in terms of surface (or non-surface) and non-existent tracks or signs. This was compounded by seeing a Rally team 10km inside the border with a snapped axel and had been stranded for 24 hours...Rally over! So much so we decided to pick up a Mongolian hitchhiker who helped but had poor banter. We enjoyed the experience so much we picked up another who wasn't so well behaved. His directions nearly rolled the ambulance and he wanted us to take him to his door. After we refused and kicked him out he decided to chase us on foot!
Luckily we bumped into another few teams and headed towards Oligy (First milestone) We quickly realised 400km a day will be tricky after we bumped Barbara continuously and directed her towards rocks and sand banks. Key message for Mongolia: Slow and steady only 1500km left!
Day 26 - Brokegear Mountains (17/8)
River stop to Tashanta (Forgot to take - 231144)
River stop, Tashanta
Eary start today and it was well worth it. The drive towards the Mongolia border was breathtaking with fast rivers, snow capped mountains and small quirky wooden villages. Despite the scenario this didn't mean the police didn't stop us, however they actually appeared inferested in the Rally and not greasing their own palms this time.
All was going pretty well. We were 40km from Mongolia and started counting our chickens...at least we made it to Mongolia! Then disaster struck as the gears stick kept popping out, but this time wouldn't stay in for more than 100 yards. After several attempts from Philip Norman Oddy, a washing up cloth seemed to fix the problem. Disaster averted - we may make it to Mongolia?!?!
The Russian border was actually closer than we anticipated and as we arrived we were ushered away by a hardnosed Official, as the border was closed. We headed back a few Kms to set up camp and were joined by several Rally teams, a women who cycled from New Zealand (Why?) and most interestingly a local who turned up in a blacked out car walked up a mountain moved a boulder and walked away with a plastic bag...very dodgy. Unfortunately we had a look but no more bags were found.
The night turned in to a pretty drunken affair as we all swapped rally stories including: being kicked in the head by a Russian; vehicles written off; kidnappings; bribes; the Robin Reliant actually being alive somewhere and the worst roads( eg Kazakh). After drinking our weekly stash of alcohol Phil and I opened up the box of tricks. Within 20 minutes then place was full of inflatables, lasers, ballons, fireworks and people speaking like Joe Pasquele (Helium). Tomorrow could be interesting when 15 vehicles (including Team Gobi Bear and their German Army/Monster truck) turn up at the border.
Day 25 - Andrei needs Hard Rock Chicks! (16/8)
Barnaul to River stop (230644 - Forgot to take)
Barnaul, River stop
A well earned and appreciated lie in this morning followed by a short walk round Barnual's tourist sites. I say tourist sites, I'm not really sure what we were looking at! However we did find a fitting war memorial and several statues of old men dancing and playing musical instruments...not sure the relevance?
Just time to make a shopping trip for essentials. Gayle, Phil and I focused on food and water whereas Colin bought some new glasses after breaking his two pairs. The afternoon meant a simple motorway drive for 500km towards Mongolia. The term motorway is used loosely. It was a good road but had a 40km speed limit (needless to say Colin was stopped, but not fined) for large parts so after 300km we stopped and set up camp near an impressive river and moutain range.
Despite us stopping at a campsite it was a definately wild camping. We were lucky to have our own little private beach and set up a large fire, whilst our disposable BBQ from Asda cooked Russian treats. The camp site was run by a "special" person named Andrei. He was a bit simple to say the least. After continually trying to convince to Gayle to a Russian sauna without luck, he turned his attention to me. Initially he wanted to have a side conversion and give me his email address, then he kept shouting Hard Rock! After an awkward 10 minutes I worked out he wanted me to translate a message from him, which he wanted me to share with the world. It read "Andrei's Camp Site wants Hard Rock Chicks in 2012". I will dig out his email and share with the world.
Finally during the drive today I read Christina Noble book Bridge Accross My Sorrows (Christina Noble Children's Foundation). A harrowing story about how she was a street child in Ireland and got involved in Vietnam and subsequently Mongolia. If you have not sponsored us thus far, please do.
Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia
YES yes yes yes yes!!!! We've made it. 9448 miles. One hell of a trip!
