Welcome to Russia

The following day we set off for Volgograd, formerly Stalingrad, in Russia. Border crossings are a thing we have come to despise, and this was no different. We managed to get across with relative ease though the mandatory bribe occurred which ensured our car would not be searched for three hours. With no map, we charged blindly into Russia following the directions of drunk old men and cackling pram-pushing young mothers. We were stopped for speeding (who knows how are car reached an illegal speed) and told to pay at the next toll. Archie, finding a new lease of life after his nutritional nightmare blinded the toll man with the full beams and charged past, ignoring the cries to pull over of the futile red baton.

Having arrived in Volgograd, we took the rickety tram into town and headed towards the famous Mamaev Kurgan, with its 72-meter statue of Mother Russia wielding her sword and calling the people to arms in defence of Russia. Something that had become apparent in our journey was that in Russia and Ukraine, everyone thinks we are gypsies. Maybe it is the ragged shorts and filthy flip-flops, but whenever we go into a supermarket we are followed around by the guards for the entire duration.

Across Ukraine

Donesk was a long drive across dubious roads and a ludicrous amount of sunflower fields. We discovered that night that our only surviving tent, as well as not being water or windproof, was also broken in several places. Hungry and exhausted, we finally got to our hostel in Donesk. Upon entering the kitchen, we fell upon the free cake, which turned out to be one of worst decisions so far. The cake, as it transpired, was full to the brim of delicious nuts. Archie, as it transpired, had not grown out of his childhood nut allergy. Pandemonium ensued. He swelled up like a balloon, so much so that we named him ‘Mike’ as he was unrecognizable in this new form. Luckily, his quick thinking and several hours of agonizing rest was enough to straighten him out. Matty maintains that he has no allergy, and that he should stop making such a fuss...