Team Innocents Abroad

Dillion Asher
Of Innocents Abroad
On the Mototaxi Junket 2012 (September)

Peru, eh? Sounds great.

Let's let the next few sentences serve as my junket resume.  I've never been to Peru, or to anwhere else in South America now that I think about it. My knowledge of the Spanish language is limited at best, and I am somewhat overweight.  And by somewhat overweight, I mean this little mototaxi is going to have to work very hard for every drop of petrol that it is fed.  I'm currently at work, but looking at a contour map of Peru.  The first words out of my mouth were, "Shit! Look at those elevations!"  My decision to lose weight and get some excercise may have been overdue but now I'm serious. I mean really serious.  It has to go and fast.

As I mentioned above, I'm at work.  When I'm at work, I get a lot of time to daydream, to scheme about what to do if I ever get time off, and to perfect the art of sitting in an office chair for twelve hours at a stretch.  This is how oil is located and produced.  By people, just like me, who are bored to tears because the television just doesn't help, Top Gear UK being the obvious exception.  So the big question is, what do I already know about Peru?  Well, I know it's has very big mountains, was once the center of the Incan civilization and is now a very green place.  I also know that the people eat guinea pigs, chew coca leaves and seem to take no notice of mind-bending elevations.  What's more, it lies at the headwaters of the largest river on earth, is in the malaria belt, and has some really scary critters in both woods and waters.  So Dillion and I stand very good chances of eating or being eaten by strange, dangerous wildlife, being deprived of oxygen until giddily staggering over a stony precipice, or contracting a tropical malady for which there is no known precidence or cure.  Great.  Can't wait to get started.  Anyone got a good checklist?

 

  

 

 

 

 

Dillion

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Dillion Asher

When it comes to walking out the door and going someplace, especially when treading where I've never been before, I pride myself in being a "yes" man. The Mototaxi Junket is intended to be the first of many such expeditions particularly suited to an adventurous spirit, with the 2013 Mongol Rally next on the list and, of course, whatever other hare-brained schemes myself or my learned colleague and illustrious Junket teammate can cook up in the meantime.

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