Team: Mistakes Were Made arrives as a one-man circus with three unimpressive celebrities and a mini-mini van that resents existing.
Driver: Daryl Daley, semi-retired Canadian, veteran, professionally stubborn.
Vehicle: “Cpl Bloggins – The Mighty Kangoo - Reporting for duty. Unarmed. Unfit. Unqualified.” Smells like old coffee and bad decisions.
Parody Co-pilots: Justin Trudeau, providing 400kg of aerodynamic ego drag; Mark Carney, elbows up, armed with charts and charisma set to airplane mode; Greta Thunberg, the loudest sock puppet in Scandinavia, yelling HOW DARE YOU every time the throttle moves.
Logistics strategy: pray, cable ties, and a laminated apology to border guards.
Nutrition plan: sausage, panic, warm water.
Mechanical plan: break, fix, repeat.
Morale plan: roast the Kangoo until it starts out of spite.
Objective: cross continents while making other teams feel better about their choices.
Contingency plan: none, which is the point.
This is the way.
