I’m an occasional theatrical prop (film extra), a frequent contrarian (popularity is irrelevant), a suspect philosophiser (I think therefore I…thunk?), a failed author (On the Destiny of Species), a one-time choir boy (non-halo division), a two-time adventurist (one Rickshaw Run and one Mototaxi Junket), a three-times a lady (...), a no-time Wildlife Photographer of the Year (I blame the camera), a part-time farmer (assuming two chickens and a tomato plant counts), a full-time natural history pipe smoker of the year (self-declared), a constant hypocrite (it's true), a mortified reflector (haunted by a particularly obtrusive Ghost of Conduct Past), an appalling salesman (a significant problem in a capitalist society), an existentially nihilistic (everything just is) and philosophically realistic (facts define themselves) incompatibilistic (free will is a myth) causal determinist (the future follows the past) with some non-spiritual stochastic reservations (did Heisenberg kill Laplace's demon with an uncertainty principle?) and no firm opinion about the existence and nature of the ultimate first cause (it's definitely possible that something is definitely infinite)...a supporter of critical thinking (in matters of truth faith is no substitute for evidence), a respecter of magical thinking (in matters of survival faith is the perfect substitute for evidence), a selfish cynic (altruism is also a myth), a latent criminal (stealing>begging), a possible anarchist (regulated freedom is an oxymoron), a former wrestling fanatic (oh how I cheered The People’s Elbow!), a wannabe smallholder (two acres with a water source and a sea view please), a used-to-be animal physician (beef locum – no herds), and my hobbies include firewalking in paper-mâché wellies and skydiving in a cling film parachute and concrete underpants.

I also make chutney.