Angus Perks

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Fabulous Finale!

Day 45 Monday 5/9/11

The beginning of the end!  After waking to one of my joke fears (a dog sniffing around out tent – thankfully Rabies-free), we had some more porridge and headed back onto the tarmac for the last stretch towards ‘UB.’  With varying tarmac quality but decent speed we fast approached our goal.  The rest of the day was relatively uneventful bar the ‘mattress incident’ – leaving a mattress on the roof with no one sitting on it, it soon blew off and we had to turn around to grab it.  After picking up some bread at a local town and heading down the road for 2km, we found the bread was mouldy all the way through so turned around to head back.  Then the mattress blew off again – whoops.  I leapt out to grab it and luckily did as by the time I had run back to it a local was carrying it back to his truck. 

Pressing on to UB, it soon came into sight, a sprawling spread of gers and huts.  It took us about 30 mins to get into the centre, loud music blaring out of our roof speakers.  Turning in towards the finish line we made the most magnificent entrance, all on the roof with ‘Jurassic Park’ serenading us the final stretch.  Heads were turning, crowds were cheering and everyone was going wild, a more magnificent entry never having been seen before!

Leaping down from Margo we headed inside, where an arrivals board listed all the teams that had arrived (with or without vehicles).  Checking into a 4-bed room at the dingy hostel we then headed off for a very nice meal in the restaurant before heading to the bar to meet other Rally teams and chill out before heading for a much deserved sleep around 2 in the morning.

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Horsing around!

Day 44 Sunday 4/9/11

Midgies.  Tons of midgies.  Not the best thing to wake up to.  ‘Let’s get out of here as quick as possible’ proved much easier said than done as we had to jack up the front wheel to assess what Margo was moaning about.  This was also technically our last porridge day (a fact George was very happy about!)  However it seemed the bolt we thought might be bent wasn’t, and the bushing we thought may have moved hadn’t, so the wheel came off.  Suddenly the issue ‘sprung’ to mind, as it appeared the suspension spring had snapped, in 2 places!  Replacing it with our spare proved difficult as the spare was slightly longer.  Jacking her up further, and having eventually removed the brake calliper, anti-roll bar, shock absorber and whole wish-bone, Stuart, Hen, George and I managed to fit it, and 2½ hours after starting we got back on the road.  No more clunks, but Margo still moans occasionally.  (We have sussed as to why – she can no longer cry – the screen wash is empty and she’s still trying.) 

Jack took us along some fun sand-lined tracks in the morning and Hen took over in the afternoon for some bumpier, rockier ‘roads’ towards the final ‘Drop-off point’ at ‘Are they here’ (‘Arvaikheer’).  Often taking the off-road option over the tracks, Hen led us on a route definitely less travelled and eventually she was in sight...as was tarmac – miles and miles of it!  Initially Jack and I didn’t believe Hen but then we saw it for our own eyes.  Riding a hump onto it we hit the pedal to the floor and shot on.  Then we hit the brakes as potholes the size of Mini Coopers loomed out of nowhere.  Laughing at how crazy this was and how retardedly dangerous it is to have people on the roof for such extreme driving we sped into town.  Stopping to have a look at a Budha statue, to grab some food (Horse, at £1.50 a kilo!!!) and to check out their market, we then pressed on, stopping 30Km out of town on a random hillside.

Probably our last night camping – and what a night!  Following a few days of ‘Ready Steady Cook’ style competition between Hen & Skilly vs Jack, George and Angus, a massive Horse Madras prepared by our masterchef Stuart was a welcome and tasty relief.  Incredible scenery and some switch later we headed for the tents.  It was also pretty damn cold.

 

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Rivers? Tow problem!

Day 43 Saturday 3/9/11

Ooh, been a while since I wrote this, trying to remember what happened...  After a quick photo by our campsite we headed on towards Bayankhongor, the 4th ‘Drop-point’ on the Mongol route.  Stuart drove the morning shift, and after much confusion over the route (which you can do little about as there are lots of tracks but they all go the same direction), we reached a huge river.  Tractors were crossing back and forth, towing vehicles across through the raging waters, but of course Margo didn’t even blink and after sussing the best route she leapt forward, plunging through the depths with ease, with us on the roof ostentatiously yelling and blasting music out of our new roof sound-stage.  The tractor driver looked suitably disappointed but we were psyched, and even took the time to dive in and have a wash, the first for days.  Then after some lunch of bread, cold sausage (both generously provided by some Chinese tourists we met,) and some strange sea-mushroom crisp-style-things we cracked on, trying unsuccessfully to match our GPS compass with the map, which we have concluded was made as part of a Mongolian school project.

George took over the driving in the afternoon and unluckily had a stretch of some of the worst roads yet, corrugated and full of huge pot-holes.  After one particularly huge bang in a pothole Margo began complaining even more than usual, with clunks and bangs coming from our left wheel, and an intermittent moaning like a wounded dog.  Still we nursed her to Bayankhongor and after grabbing some suet-meat-pie things and bumping into some other ambo guys whose drive-shaft had gone we set up camp outside the city and Jack, George and I set about preparing the best meal possible (without tins).  With an unquestionably incredible sauce and plenty of pie things, it was definitely one of my favourite meals so far (modesty aside...)  Then after listening to George trying to hum everyone to sleep for a while we dropped off.

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Switch-ing to faster roads to Altay!

Day 42 Friday 2/8/11

An early breakfast (our penultimate porridge packet – George is overjoyed!) today and an early start meant we made good speed (or as good as could be made on roads that were so corrugated I felt I Parkinson’s) and made 240Km to Altay by 2pm (1 of 4 ‘Altay’s’ in Mongolia – how retarded is that!  How can 1 country have 4 towns with the same name?!?!!)  On the way we passed another Mongol team being towed.

A fuel, food, water and tyre-replacement stop was quickly sorted and we were happy to meet the towed-team, who unluckily had ripped a large section out of their gearbox and so had to abandon their vehicle in Altay, after generously giving us a bunch of food and speakers etc that they had no more use for.  At the garage were a few old wrecks of previous Mongol cars that had obviously not made it, as well as one of this year’s fire engines and a wolf someone had caught and raised from a cub! 

Pressing on from Altay at 4ish we made pretty good speed on some tracks of varying quality, from smooth stone to sudden dips and bumps in the blink of an eye this was some fun yet intense driving.  Stopping at a circle of stones in the middle of nowhere we set up camp and Hen and Skilly made a very nice meal, albeit using the majority of our tinned food!  After this we were joined by 2 other aussies, Sam and Chris, for our final whole-team blues night, which was a long but enjoyable evening consisting of vodka, beer and switch to 1000 points (that is a veeeerry long game of switch.)

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Wheely Tyred of poor progress

Day 41 Thursday 1/9/11

Today has undeniably been our ‘adventurous day’ as the Adventurists would have put it.  Starting from where we thought we were we set off and soon, after Skilly yelling ‘don’t hit that rock!’, Hen hit that rock.  In his defence he was trying to save the underbelly from the middle of the road, sacrificing the tyres in the process.  And of course it blew, or rather tore a tiny bit.  Bummer.  Oh well, easy fix...right?

Wrong.  Seems this was the wheel we thought had loose wheel nuts in Turkey.  So we had tightened them tighter than my wallet, and as a result they were having a hard time coming off.  Then the ratchet broke...

An hour and a bit later, no one had come by and so we decided to use our 1-use tire fix can and a patch of rubber to limp to the previous town, about 10km away.  At first we seemed to be doing well, then of course it got worse and worse, so with everyone hanging onto the opposite side we crawled into the town. 

Turns out this town was ‘Most’, not ‘Darc’ as we had thought, a good deal further south than we should have been.  At least our breakdown allowed us to realise that.  However, what is the simplest motoring-related fix in the book had turned into a complete nightmare.  No one has a ratchet and every friendly Mongol who has come to help has ended up breaking their wrenches or wheel-braces.  As the team set about entertaining the hordes of local kids, with a guitar concert from Jack and myself, some mountain boarding from Hen, harmonica from George and even some muscle displays from Hen. 

Soon our conundrum seemed to be getting no better, although Skilly and myself were game enough to leap on some horses and ride around a bit which was epic. 

A good while later and after some Yak soup with bread the local welder came over with a fashioned bar with socket welded on, specific to our job.  It worked!  5 hours after we wanted to change the tyre we had finally managed it, and after gifts of toys (and $50) we were on our way.

Unfortunately this particular area of nowhere has roads that are...sub-par.  After a lot of ‘off-piste’ following compass bearings and running around on foot looking for river or chasm crossings we could finally see Tsetseg, a town that marked the turning for a pass back through the mountains to the main road. 

After a quick navigation and snack stop in Tsetseg we headed for the pass, which we could see snaking its way through the mountains.  Bemusingly though, to get to said road proved to be almost impossible, through the worst ‘tracks’ any of us had ever seen, of high grass and deep dust, with ruts 3 or 4 feet deep in places.  God knows how we made it through...to the smoothest tarmac in Mongolia.  Gobsmacked, we pondered why this road exists, miles from the main road in the middle of nowhere.

Didn’t last long though, soon we were back to bumpy dusty roads and grass.  We could see a new road being built but couldn’t get up onto it and eventually after messing around in almost impassable grassland for an hour or so we managed it.  However we were then told by a woman to get off and, in sight of the main road we stopped, with 300m of chasms and massive mounds between us and freedom.  It looked impossible, but with little option Jack and I checked out the route, and running ahead, Margo roared and leapt forward, smashing her way through like a deranged bull.    

Panting, she reached the end.  We could not believe it.  The most magnificent accomplishment ever by a Ford Transit Ambulance, a film of this could have been an advert for Ford the world over – shame we didn’t make one.  After celebratory vodka all around (Stuart even poured some over Margo’s bonnet), we shot off down the main road, making great speed and stopping just short of ‘Darc,’ where we had aimed to be yesterday.

P.S.  Margo has had an extremely hard time the last 2 days and as a result has started crying – the screen wash which previously had never worked has started to, albeit randomly and uncontrollably...

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Yak-ed off!

Day 40 Wednesday 31/8/11

‘So warm here, so cold outside...should I get up yet?’ I mused for a good hour this morning, knowing lots needed doing on old Margo if we were to bear the next week.  Eventually I succumbed and got up, stripped out the back and began to plug holes wherever I could find them, soon joined by Skilly and Hen.  And what a huge number of holes we found – under the seats, above the wheels, and up the whole bodywork.  Stuffing as much stuff in as we could, we made her as dust-proof as possible (now the only ways in and out are the roof and the front 2 windows, the doors having been taped up completely.)   Then we hit the road, picking up 2.5kg of Yak for supper en route. 

Our modifications seem to have paid off, for the most part.  Being in the back is now quite bearable, although today was warmer and so the roof was quite a pleasant change.  Today’s was a very bumpy ride, with some interesting navigating and negotiating of obstacles.  We had the sand-boards out for the first time today trying to get down a 1 foot slope we happened to get the wheels bogged in.  Twice we had to push Margo to get her the speed and momentum required for river crossings, both times leaving at least half the team behind, with Hen managing to jump into the front window just in time first time and myself running to leap into the back on the second, leaving the others to wade across. 

Stopping in the middle of the hills a most fantastic stew of Yak, carrot and onion was concocted by Skilly and Hen, followed by a short game of switch to some Jazz, whilst we boiled the rest of the bones to make Yak soup for tomorrow, which I’m just about to turn off.  I’m cold and tired, and now I’m going to bed.

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

Dust til Dawn

Day 39 Tuesday 30/8/11

The first day of full driving in Mongolia.  To say the place has no roads is a lie, there are plenty of roads, just none of them have any tarmac on them and they are all made on a whim when someone thinks the current track isn’t flat enough.  We did our fair share of track jumping and road-creation and soon the big debate began – fast but corrugated roads with less dust or smooth yet dusty roads which turned the ambo from a beautiful home we have cared for and nurtured for weeks into something resembling an IRA-bomb scene.  Aside from seeing an Eagle-boy with a massive eagle we pressed on, making slow progress towards ‘Hovd.’  With the back being so bad sticking around would have given us farmer’s lung, Hen, Jack, George and I chilled on the roof...literally.  It was soo unbelievably cold, the views and beauty was totally lost on us.  We actually managed a feeble cheer when Hovd came in sight.

Stopping at the Western Mongol Rally camp in Hovd we were happy to have some tea and a brief use of internet, followed by a very nice (yet quantity lacking) meal of Yak, rice and carrots from our host Tony.  Retiring to hard beds (beds nonetheless!) we covered ourselves with as many blankets as possible and slept soundly.

Angus Perks
Of Storming to Mongolia
On the The Mongol Rally 2011

What a Mongnificent day!

Day 38 Monday 29/8/11

So apparently the border was meant to open at 9.  At 11:30 we passed through the Russian side, after a rather fabulous inter rally football game.  Not long later we had left Russia and were in No-mans-land, for the last time! No mans land lasted a few Km, thankfully it was tarmac, something we doubted we would see much off in the future days. As always the tarmac has to end, this occurred at the Mongol side of No mans land, tarmac literally vanished and suddenly turned to dirt track. This was not a good sign of things to come. Reaching the Mongol border at lunch time meant for a long wait. A whole load of paper work and more waiting than I’m sure was necessary meant we left finally at 5,20pm. Finally in Mongolia for the last leg of the journey spirits were now running high.

Scenery was the most fabulous we have seen thus far, mountain graced the surrounding horizons, this mixed with rolling flat lands, lakes and copious Gers meant for a most exquisite start to our final leg. Roads aren’t the best but hey, it is Mongolia, our progress was slow but steady. In the couple hours we had before last light we managed to make 100km, a most excellent achievement I thought, though this was helped by some rather rare tarmac, we made the most of it travelling 50mph, the fastest we will travel in a while.

We stayed in the Mongol camp in Ogily, not a bad place to stay, Gers and hot showers meant for a good nights sleep, as the did the beds. Henry and Angus chose to sleep in the ambo, seems they can’t sleep in anything else now. Get withdrawal when sleeping elsewhere.