Glossary
A - Accident (n), the inevitable consequence of driving like an Indian.
B - Bus (n), agent of death on the road, also a people transporter.
Bobble (v), head movement by an Indian to indicate agreement, disagreement, happiness, confusion, excitement, or disappointment.
C - Car (n), vehicle of greater important than a rickshaw & moped, less than bus or truck.
Chai (n), drink of the gods.
D - Dosa (n), breakfast of champions.
Darwin Award (n), prize given to person who ended life prematurely by foolish act. Consistently won by Indian drivers.
Dust (n), substance that covers all surfaces after 60 seconds in a rickshaw. Can cause allergic reaction in hotel receptionists.
Danger (n), permanent state any road user will find themselves in.
E - Excitement (n), reaction of the Indians when they see a Rickshaw or have a selfie opportunity with a tourist. Uncommon in Goa.
F - Freezing (adj), average temperature in the back of a rickshaw before 10am.
G - Goa (n), former Portuguese colony on west coast of India, now annexed by Putin.
H - Hindu (n), average Indian, billions of them. Also see Excitement.
Honey Badger (n), most ferocious species of badger, highly skilled operator of a rickshaw. Known for high quality banter.
Horn (n), auto tool to allow Indians to express a bobble at high speed.
Hotel (n), destination for food not lodging, only discovered when the latter is urgently needed.
Helmet (n), road safety device deemed superfluous by motorbike user.
I - India (n), incredible sub continent. Best explored in a rickshaw.
J - Joke (n), state of average Indian road, rush hour driving.
K - Kerala (n), beautiful & tranquil state of southern India. Often prescribed as antidote to Goa or Mumbai.
L - Livestock (n), cattle, monkeys, pigs, goats, dogs, camels, commonly seen wandering the highways.
Light (n), source of totally inadequate illumination for a rickshaw, cannot be used in conjunction with a horn.
Load (n), game played by drivers of how many people or objects their vehicles can carry. Also see Danger.
M - Moustache (n), facial hair perfected by the Indians.
Map (n), navigation aid, commonly ignored by men as they know best.
Mechanic (n), any passerby who can fix a broken rickshaw.
N - Night time (n), a time of day to be avoided on a road.
O - OMG (adj, slang), phrase most commonly used by foreigners when seeing Indians drive.
P - Parantha (n), best Indian bread, accompanies any meal.
Police (n), extractors of bribes from road users.
Pothole (n), device to slow traffic, damage rickshaws, vary in size, known to swallow entire vehicles.
Q - Queue (n), what happens post an accident, excuse to drive wrong way on the other side of the road.
R - Rickshaw (n), bottom of Indian road food chain, occasionally driven by foreigners. Also see Excitement & Accident.
Rush hour (n), time of day when temporary insanity grips a road user.
S - Shock (n), common state of foreigner when on Indian road.
Speed Bump (n), obstacle to slow traffic, vary in size and aggressiveness, only spotted at the last second.
Speed Limit (n), see Joke, Police.
Selfie (n), a common request by an Indian for interaction with a foreigner.
School (n), place for very friendly small people, best hope for India's future.
T - Truck (n), larger & slower agent of death on the road, also transports goods & people. Often seen upside down in a ditch.
Take (v) - Action taken by a bus, truck or car, over or under. Also see Darwin Award.
Toll (n), road use payment not required of rickshaws. Daily body count among road users.
U - U-turn (n), maneuver conducted by an Indian driver without indication.
V - Velocity (n), honour is obtained by achieving the highest form without regard for life.
W - Waiter (n), food service provider, unused resource of local cuisine knowledge. Most commonly excited to help foreigners when asked.
Wet Wipe (n), futile device to combat dust, oil & petrol.
X - X-rated (n), certificate given to Indian road safety video.
Y - Youth (adj), average life expectancy of an Indian road user.
Z - Zebra Crossing (n), aid for pedestrians to cross a road, aid for drivers to run down pedestrians.
