Beatrice Heller

Beatrice Heller
Of Bee Lucky
On the The Mongol Rally 2008
HIGHLIGHT ON MAP
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Kazakhstan & Russia

We met up with fellow Ford Fiesta ralliers on our first night in Almaty. At 2am having drunk far too much to drive we came to the realisation that we had nowhere to stay. Deciding that the car was preferable to a park bench we camped up for the night on Almaty's main street. We were rudely awoken by the parking attendant at 8am and proceeded to have our breakfast on the pavement as commuters hurried past. We undertook a planned mechanic trip with the Fiesta couple and a team of four Irish boys. It turned out our diagnosis of needing a new fuel filter (not difficult to diagnose having seen some of the 'petrol' we had put in the car) was correct. The look on everyone's faces as black gunge dripped out of our filter confirmed our suspicions. Whilst everyone else waited patiently at the garage we were whisked off by the mechanic in his blacked-out four wheel drive and treated to drinks en route to finding a fuel filter. It was late afternoon by the time all the cars were finished so we headed back into Almaty for another night. At midnight when everybody else had retired to their respective hotels we felt it was time for pudding. In a 24hr supermarket we located the bakery section and selected a delicious looking banoffi pie. Having asked for one piece we began to panic when the bakery lady, having cut and wrapped it, proceeded to box up the entire rest of the cake and attach it to the already cut piece. Frantically trying to explain we only wanted one piece we were soon surrounded by 12 bakery attendants all informing us we must buy the whole 14 inch cake. Half an hour later we were leaving the supermarket crying with laughter at the ridiculous parcel we carried in our arms. 

Once again we were woken by the parking attendant and after a breakfast of cake set off in a 3 car convoy for the 3 day trip through Kazakhstan to Russia. We managed to dispose of the rest of the cake as the others gladly accepted it for their breakfast too. Stopping for the night in a lavender field we fixed up our car exhaust with cable ties while everyone else set up camp. With no tent our camp takes an unsurprisingly short amount of time to sort and falling asleep by counting shooting stars definitely has a plus side even if it is a little chilly. 

The next morning we agreed to swap i-pods with the boys first warning them that they may not appreciate our taste in music. However within seconds of receiving ours they were driving off with Julie Andrew's 'Lonely Goat Herd' blaring out of their sound system as they sang along. We spent another night under the stars before making a dash for the border the next day. This took us through the delightful town of Semey where between 1949 and 1989 the Soviet military exploded 460 nuclear bombs leaving untold radiation damage that continues to affect the population to this day. Just outside Semey Lucy had an interesting encounter with the Kazakh police as she was caught filming the boys asking a policeman for directions. She was hauled inside the police hut accused of being James Bond (as apparently England and Kazakhstan are at war) and commanded to delete the tape as handcuffs were brandished in her face. Escaping intact  we reached the border as it was getting dark so decided to camp up and head through the next day.

The border took 5hrs and another proposal to cross and 2 years after swearing we would never go back to Russia here we are again! Even the Russian weather is miserable so we spent last night playing scrabble in the boys luxurious 8 person tent/ mansion. Playing against 3 teams that had never played before we managed to win in spectacular style. Finding this internet cafe has caused a stir in the town of Barnaul. At first nobody would speak to the 8 filthy looking delinquents (us) as we tried to ask for directions. We finally cornered a girl in a shop who couldn't escape due to being stuck behind a till and she very kindly printed us a map. Note to self: odd socks, flip flops, torn dirty jeans, smelling t-shirts and dubious looking fleeces don't make a good impression.

Tomorrow we are hoping to cross the border into Mongolia- final leg here we come! 

Beatrice Heller
Of Bee Lucky
On the The Mongol Rally 2008
HIGHLIGHT ON MAP
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Kyrgyzstan

The drive from Osh to Bishkek was worthy of Top Gear's 'world's best drive'. On smooth tarmac we passed nomadic yurts in summer pastures, stunning mountain lakes and took on 180 degree hairpin bends down a crumbling gorge. Tadpole was complaining about the distinctly black looking petrol we had had no choice to feed her earlier on so climbing the mountain passes did prove a little tricky but she ploughed on.

Yesterday saw us getting to know the police a little too well. Lucy's first encounter for speeding saw a $100 fine be reduced to $20 with a smile and by waving our last dollars in front of them. We escaped a second speeding fine by acting like a couple of idiot foreigners who had no idea what a speed gun was. Our dumbfounded looks and inability to speak Russian meant the police waved us on in frustration. We left Bishkek in typical Kyrgyz fashion with a glass of vodka in one hand and the steering wheel in the other! Planning on camping just shy of the Kazakh border we were rather surprised to find ourselves at the border and heading through it as it was open 24hrs. This led us to our final encounter with the police that day- fortunately of a more friendly nature as a couple of over-excited young Kazakh policemen waved us in to tell us they loved us.

We have spent today in Almaty doing more walking in one day than we have done in the last month. With legs feeling like jelly from the sudden exertions we definitely feel we have deserved the pub lunch and cake and coffee that have been our treats today after weeks of camping food.  

Beatrice Heller
Of Bee Lucky
On the The Mongol Rally 2008
HIGHLIGHT ON MAP
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The Pamirs

Day one in the Pamirs went by in a whirlwind of mountain plateaus, salt lakes and snow capped peaks. We progressed much quicker than expected so decided to take a little detour to the Hindu Kush. Leaving the main road we hit true 4x4 terrain. At times the passenger had to get out and lend Tadpole a hand uphill, we also had to build ramps for some of the more extreme bumps. Stopping to look at the Bactrian camels on the Afghanistan side of the river we noticed we had a puncture. What we expected to be an easy problem to solve became mightily more tricky when no amount of tugging or hammering would remove the wheel. Having not seen another car all day we were slightly in despair and in a moment of madness decided our only option was to drive to the nearest town on the punctured tyre. 500m down the road we had shredded the tyre and destroyed the wheel! At this point the emergency chocolate and vodka was broken out. However luck was on our side as an hour later a van containing 3 generations of one family drove by and stopped to help. The wheel was eventually removed with 2 hammers and 3 men and we were back on the road.

We spent the night in the shadow of the Hindu Kush, a stones throw from Afghanistan (we threw some to prove it), we awoke to cloudy skies and feeling lazy spent the morning reading in the car. As the clouds cleared we got moving only to stop again with another puncture this time easily solved although it did involve Lucy having to sit on a horse for a photo. We made it back onto the highway and the following morning awoke to snow. We spent the day driving along the Chinese border through the snow to the highest pass at 4600m. We were almost at the Kyrgyz border when we got puncture number 3! With no spare wheel and lacking the ability to change a tyre we were once again rather stuck. 3 hours later a kind trucker stopped and put a new inner tube in our tyre enabling us to continue. The Tajik-Kyrgyz border was our friendliest yet. Lots of chai in different huts and even a proposal. Tadpole was searched by a sniffer dog but drug free we were allowed to continue. Once through the border we had the most stunning view we have seen so far. Looking back the snow capped peaks of the Pamirs were awe inspiring and we couldn't quite believe we had come through them.

Desperately in need of petrol we stopped in the first town we came to. Stopping to ask we were slightly shocked when a man launched himself into the car sitting on Lucy's knee and gave us directions. This resulted in us driving all around town with the man waving at all his friends and Lucy practically on Bee's knee trying to avoid the man's groping hands! Finally we found what seemed to be the only petrol in the place- black gunk out of a yellow truck. Ejecting our new 'friend' we set off but it was barely an hour before we had yet another puncture. At 3500m, freezing cold, on the edge of a cliff, in the dark, with no chocolate or water our humour was rapidly failing. With attempts to use tyre weld in both punctured tyres failing and no one stopping to help we had no option but to sleep where we were, perilous as it was. Trying to get warm in our sleeping bags we turned to the only liquid we had in the car- vodka!

15 hours later we had cleaned the car bumper to boot and still failed to attract any help. Thirsty and starving (all our food required water) we resorted to putting the already wrecked wheel back on the car in a desperate attempt to reach water at the bottom of the valley. This attracted some attention and some shepherds came to our rescue. They did a dreadful job of repairing a punctured inner tube but it lasted for 3 hours of driving. Just as we were complaining we were being followed by idiot men drivers we felt the now well known feeling of a flat tyre. The idiot men actually proved our biggest lifesavers yet. They took us and the wheels to the nearest town. Unfortunately the town was suffering a power cut meaning no one would fix our tyres so instead they took us to a restaurant and left us there while they tried to find help. Sitting down to eat our chicken politely with a knife and fork and a cup of tea we were soon joined at the table by a Kyrgyz family. The cultural contrast was glaringly obvious as they devoured their chicken with their hands and swilled it down with shots of vodka.

Eventually a passing truck agreed to repair one tyre for $20 so we went back and collected Tadpole and took up our rescuers offer to spend the night at his and get the other tyre repaired in the morning. His main concern seemed to be for our cleanliness as he asked us when the last time we had had a shower was. When the answer was 10 days he insisted we use his! Dinner was prepared whilst we watched the olympics and after dinner the inevitable vodka came out and the men got more and more excited as they made us drink ridiculously large shots. Eventually to escape them we had to lock ourselves in the bedroom whilst they called to us from outside. Needless to say they were a little sheepish in the morning but it was all good humoured.

The town still had no power so we headed for Osh and prayed the tyres would last which they did. However just as we parked we got flat number 6. This was more easily solved as we took the tyre in a taxi to a nearby mechanic and then spent the afternoon there with the car getting all the tyres done and the sump guard bent back down. With only 2 days until Bee is once again an illegal immigrant we're hoping for no more dramas as we head for Kazakhstan.