A final word: madness
Final thoughts on the rickshaw run
So, we have finished up and many times we have mentioned a final post being put up, summarising the frequent nuances of India that took our surprise that were never really outstanding enough to mention in our trip posts.
India. You crazy. A sub-continent of multiple languages and cultures which is so interesting and fun and in Pete's words "always goes that little bit further". Just when you thought the traffic couldn't get worse, it does. When you think the food is too spicy, it just gets hotter. When you think your diarrhoea is finishing, it sadly, does not. But like many places, has its fair share of shit to deal with and socioeconomic complexities. How a country with such profound poverty can be running a space programme and have such a big military is vexing. We have seen poverty like nowhere else. India has a lot of contrast and we have seen a lot of it.
States travelled through: Meghalaya Assam West Bengal Bihar Uttar Pradesh Madhyar Pradesh Andhra Pradesh Maharashtra Karnataka Tamil Nadu Kerala
Languages: Bengali Hindi Marathi Tamil Telugu Kanneda Malayalam English ...I think.
Selected adjectives used: Dirty Noisey Awful Confusing Colourful Interesting Pretty Foetid Crazy Crappy Shite Lush Dry Wet Stinky Foul Undesirable Mad Vexing Impoverished Tiring
Some notes on things. Moustache catalogues: every now and then we would find a billboard which we could only describe as a moustache catalogue. Sometimes dozens of blank expression passport-esque pictures of men with varying degrees of moustache and otherwise incomprehensible script conveying some message which we don't understand. As the common variable of all these men is the moustache, we can only conclude that this is what it is advertising. I once saw one in English which said "Happy 70th birthday Pradeep!" But one billboard is not a good sample size, particularly given how much the moustache catalogues varied through the provinces.
Infrastructure: everywhere in India there appeared to be a lot of public and private infrastructure projects underway. Buildings, roads, bridges, schools, whatever. Almost all of them concrete and steel rebar, almost all were not actively being constructed and half way through. This leads to the conclusion of construction beginning but running out of funding, or construction complete so the building has been neglected and returned to a state of being half built. Same result, different path. All buildings, even those complete, have rebar sticking out through the roof and sometimes the sides in the hope of, at some stage, an extension. Public infrastructure projects such as half-built roads leave rows of rebar sticking out of the dirt, leading to the appearance of...
Rebar plantations: we surmise that the amount and spacing of rebar coming from the ground can only be plantations of rebar being cultivated as a new commodity for economic development. As far as we can tell, the rebar is planted from a cutting in a bed of concrete, which grow and are further fertilised with layers of concrete until a column forms (much like growing leeks). To keep them upright, previously harvested rebar is strung between plantations and companion planting with wooden poles supports a floor of concrete, about one storey high. The spaces that are created by mixtures of rebar and concrete are called (by the ill-informed) buildings, and are habitable. However, that rebar always remains growing out the roof indicates that this growth will continue and requires cultivation.
Population growth: both Pete and daddy c have remarked bewilderment at how a place like India could possibly need fertility clinics. In actual fact, Indians seem to multiple in the presence of a foreigner, particularly when the foreigner is driving a rickshaw, speaking some Hindi, filling petrol and, worse, trying to fix the rickshaw. Firstly one will show up and begin staring silently at either the foreigner or the activity. Then another. And another. Then another two, three, five... Until a gang of 2 dozen are gathered around, talking to each other, and in some cases, offering help. We don't know where they came from but they weren't there before, leading us to conclude that we are some kind of Indian-generating catalyst. And then...
Selfies: happen once there is a critical mass. 'Selfie' is the term used, regardless of who is taking or taken in the photograph. Once critical mass is found, an explosion of flashes of bright white light erupt from the crowd, directed at the foreigners. It is mandatory, at this stage, to smile and join in. If in a rush, merely do not stop the rickshaw, even if broken. If cross a state border post- definitely encourage critical mass. Avoids bribery. There is a clear band where this catalyst is most effective, between Madhyar Pradesh and Karnataka. Frequently this photography happened while driving- a car overtaking notices the foreigners, pulls in front, slows down and we are forced to overtake while the driver takes photos of us driving past. Not satisfied with such an angle, the driver then accelerates to overtake and simultaneously take photos or video. This may happen with the photographer riding a motorbike, or a car in a small street with a large bus coming the other direction. This frustrates the foreigners.
Education: everyone seems to want education. There are advertisements for courses everywhere. Put another way, everyone wants to provide education. These signs, listing degrees available, are stuck on power poles or small billboards all around towns, sometimes on houses and rebar plantations. The quality of this education can't be very good and certainly appears unregulated since so many unusually named "universities" or "institutions", also adorned with passport-esque photos. They just seem a bit unprofessional, but maybe that is what people think when they come to Australia and see pictures of people wearing small tasseled blackboards on their heads, wearing bedsheets and smiling like nincompoops.
Concrete advertisement: another form of advertising which is everywhere. S could also be termed rebar fertiliser advertising, but clearly labelled concrete. The different pictures and designs of advertising for such a seemingly mundane product is worthy of a photo-essay and I believe Pete is developing one. I am told that this is because a client has to source all the materials for builders to do a construction or renovation. Something, but not a lot of other materials advertised. Only sometimes there were advertisements for rebar saplings.
Spelling epidemic. So much, it is everywhere and I hope that the national centre for spelling control is taking some outbreak control measures. How such an easily solvable epidemics can become so out of control is beyond me. Now that we have found a cure - the Internet - there should be no more cases of spelling and grammar inconsistencies. Incorrect "use of" quotation marks "is" rife.... Such as a label on a fuel tank for a diesel truck: "diesel". Of course it is! Why are quotations needed? "Please pay driver before entry" (sic). Pliz is a good one, but intentional. Restorant might be another. I can't presently think of any others but I know that my comrades will present some. How hard can it be to look up a word or phrase on the Internet before spending so much to advertise it? The high incidence of the word 'cum' in inappropriate places (all) is also a concern which all visitors should be vaccinated against.
Head wobbling: yes, I brought it up. Someone has to say something. It is quite confusing, but usually means 'yes', I think. I was in a bus on my last day and asked the ticket man if my stops next. Head wobble. "I'm sorry, I don't understand" I said. Head wobble, expressionless. "Could you TELL me what the next stop is?". Expressionless head wobble, higher oscillation frequency. I'm not sure if there is significance to the period and amplitude of the wobble, but it does come in varying degrees... Which for some people can be disturbing and I wonder if an ambulance is required. Then at the last minute- recovery. It is clearly something that I am culturally unaware to, because whole conversations can be done in this way. I never did get it quite right. Again, it must be odd for someone outside our culture to come and see us saying no by shaking our heads in different ways. Just as our preponderance to using metal sculptures to stab rice. And use toilets. But that is for another day.
Kilometres covered: 3,500 Hotel refusals: 16 Beers consumed in the whole trip: 3... Despite our best efforts Beef consumed: none Good time had: ask the others
Wheel Enlightenment
